Making Decisions

First, let me apologize for not realizing that my blog had changed this whole post to white, so here, hopefully, is a version you can actually read!

This post has been adapted and expanded from a letter I wrote to a friend; we've been discussing decision making.

I'm in the stage of life where decisions seem extra prominent and VERY important. I feel, and my peers too, that every decision is life-changing, and we're terrified of making a decision because it may be the wrong one. Everyday I draw closer to finishing my college education (!!!!), and I'm faced with--what's next? How am I going to make those decisions which will get me to the next stage in my life? I've been mulling this over on and off for a while; I will try and make it coherent as possible, but you know I struggle to articulate myself.

Before I start listing my thoughts on decision making I need to say this first: I believe that as a believer once you've made a decision you know that was the Lord's will because you made that decision. Now that doesn't mean every decision is going to work out perfectly for you, but you can rest secure in the fact that God is in control; that He does know best; and that He never stops taking care of His children. Also as a believer, I pray you would desire to make wise decisions. I also believe that big decisions are the culmination of many small decisions which is why we must be careful and wise with all of our decisions. That being said, here are my thoughts on decision making.

First, prayer and searching of the scriptures must be the foundation to all wise decision making. In short, you must continually build, strengthen, and grow your relationship with Christ. When you make decisions, you're searching to make decisions which will give Him the most honor, glory, and praise. A humble, willing, loving, and serving attitude toward our Father and His will is a must for decision making (also life). As you pray, it is vital to ask for wisdom from our Father, and that His will be done, not ours.

Second, research is absolutely necessary. During the whole research process, you're collecting information. Research takes many forms, and in each form, you collect information in a different way. All of these forms should be done. For some decisions, you'll need to do them simultaneously while others need some forms of research completed before you delve into other forms.

The first form is what we would consider research--reading books about something, reading reviews, test-driving, comparing prices, visiting places, etc.

The second form applies to relationship building of any kind--sibling, parents, friends, relatives, coworkers, significant others, etc. The second form of research looks like this--spending time with people, talking with and listening to them, discussing serious and funny things, observing and spending time with them in different settings. All of this assists as you make decisions about your relationship with that person--how to help them, what they need, etc.

The third form is counsel. Proverbs discusses time and time again seeking wise counsel. At our age in life, we are making decisions 'on our own.' Which means, more than ever, we need to seek wise counsel. Even though, you are at an age where you can independently make your own choices; it's not wise to forsake advice and counsel. Listen to others; don't just hear what you want to hear. Listen to their thoughts on people, situations, and anything else that relates to the decision.

For the fourth form of research, you must turn inward. You need to (re)search your own heart to discover motivations, interests, reasoning, reactions, desires, and much more concerning the decision. This is good because you can see how fickle and wayward your heart is, yet you'll hopefully also see how the Lord is changing your heart to be more like Christ. It's also good to be honest with your desires. You need to analyze what is at the root of your desires, and you need to realize that God uses our desires. He gives desires to be used for His honor, glory, and praise.

Third, you must make a choice, a decision. You cannot sit around and twiddle your thumbs while you wait for a sign from God. As nice as it would be if God texted us what to do, I believe sign waiting shows a huge lack of faith. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm afraid too many times we're afraid to make a decision without the writing on the wall to confirm our decision. God commands us to trust Him and put our faith in Him; we're to walk by faith, not sight. Having faith means, as I said earlier, you realize that God is in control of all situations; that He does know what is best; and that He always takes care of His children.

*Fourth, as you make the decision you must realize that that decision is permanent and life-changing while also realizing that that one decision doesn't mean you've chosen a life path you can never turn from. I know that sounds strange. I think part of the reason we're so afraid to make decisions is they seem so final. Yes, some decisions are final--marriage and salvation, for example. Yet most of the decisions we want a sign--college, major in college, car, house, job--are temporary and can and more than likely will change throughout our life. Personally, I know the Lord wanted me to major in the field I did, yet I may not "use" that degree for more than 2-5 years after graduation. Does a part of me regret that I chose it? Honestly, yes. But I also realize the Lord had me choose it for a reason, and even if I don't understand it now, one day or many days from now I'll know why or partially why. This doesn't mean it makes the decision any easier, yet I'm really trying to focus that my Father is in control.

So in conclusion, you must be confident in your decision, but don't rest in your confidence. Rest in the confidence of the sovereignty of your Father, and continue to build the most important relationship in your life with the most important person in your life--your Heavenly Father.

*I realize this section still needs more thought and work.