Bittersweet

Today, I finished all my college classes. I know I still have student teaching to complete before I can graduate, but student teaching will be completely different than college classes.

Bittersweet has been my word for the past two weeks, and I'll explain. While I am overjoyed to be done with all the college classes and to be one step closer to receiving my bachelors degree, this is a huge transition and change in life. School is all I've known as I've been in school for seventeen years. There has always been new classes and subjects starting in the fall or spring. To know this era of my life is closing is bittersweet.

But I am ready to be done with the late nights, the constant homework, the guilt when I say no to homework because I need a break, the guilt for talking and spending time with my family and friends, and the heaviness which weighs me down all semester.

I'm going to miss my friends being so close, but I can't wait to see where the Lord leads us all. I am so interested to know where we will all be, to see what we have done, to hear where we have been in five to ten years. I'm going to miss interacting with certain teachers. But to be honest there are people and teachers I would be okay not seeing for awhile.

There's been tear and laughter as I check off my lasts.

My last class was wonderful since we read for the fifty minutes and it got to be with one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Lincoln.

I could barely walk into my last Chamber's rehearsal because I didn't want choir to end. Choir has been the best part of my college career--the music I've been able to learn and sing, the friends and people I've gotten to know, and the wonderful tours I've been able to participate in. My last choir rehearsal was lovely as we just sang through our songs, and we ended with Abide with Me and God Be with You until We Meet Again. I cried some before choir and choked up some, but I didn't cry at the end.

I walked out of those last forty minutes in the gym smiling and a bit gleeful.

My last late evening of schoolwork (which was last night) was quite the evening. I was stocked that it was my last night staying up late while being so exhausted to get a paper done and study for my final. I had received the sweetest and kindest text from my dear sister which I will share with you in another post, but I've currently misplaced my phone. Her text made me bawl as I remembered those awful nights and as I was so thankful for the numerous ways my family has supported me. Then there was drama about my paper being due in an hour and ten minutes when my paper needed at least three more hours of revision and editing (papers take me FOREVER). Then there was studying for my last final which consisted of reading through my notes once.

The last final of my college career. Also with my favorite teacher. I needed a 93% to keep my current grade; after the little studying, I thought I would score in the B range. I just checked though, and I scored a 94%. Happiness! I walked out of the classroom in a daze of exhaustion and amazement that my finals were done. I pretty much stumbled to the computer lab to reread my paper and submit it before 11:45. It would have been wisest to probably submit it about now time, but I had been looking forward to December 14th before lunch of being done with my college classes that waiting five hours wasn't an option. I wanted to come home for lunch and be done. I submitted the paper electronically at 11:46, and at 11:47, I posted on Facebook that I was done.

Since then, I've been telling myself that constantly--I'm done, I'm done, I'm done!!!! I'm not sure when it will set in, but I think I'm in shock. However, it's exciting because a new chapter is beginning, but it's sad because a chapter is ending--that's why it is bittersweet to me. Though, I think I'm feeling more of the sweet part than the bitter at this moment. So there's my crazy explanation of this bittersweet time.