3:00 in the Morning

I arrived home at 9:20-30 last night, and promptly went to bed. Silly contacts had dried out and given me a headache behind my eyes. That kind of headache completely wipes me out. (Not that the other kinds don't wipe me out too.) 

I woke up some time in the night to drink some water and use the restroom. I thought I would fall right back asleep, but alas no, my mind was strangely in insomniac mode. As I was up, I prepped the stuffing and corn for our Thanksgiving meal at church tomorrow. Now the food is ready to go for tomorrow today, and I'm sitting on my couch at 3:00 trying to make myself tired, so I can go back to sleep.  

 

Being on my own has changed me. Take today yesterday, this 3:00 in the morning time is throwing me off, for example: I went to a craft fair, I bought an artificial tree, I set-it up, I listened to Christmas music, I watched a Christmas movie, and I started setting up my Christmas decorations. What has happened to me that I'm setting up everything before Thanksgiving? 

You know how much I enjoy my quiet little life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. There's not much I don't mind doing by myself--shopping, cleaning, relaxing, cooking, watching movies, traveling. Depending on the people and circumstances, those activities are highly enjoyable with a person or a group of people. But they also have their own enjoyment when completed on your own. 

But there is one activity that I will not participate in on my own. In my three months completely on my own, I haven't even considered it. 

I won't go to a restaurant (fast-food or sit-down) and eat inside by myself. And according to NPR, this is a common choice for the majority of people.

Why? Am I that insecure that I can't eat a meal by myself in public? Am I afraid of how people view me? Is it not socially acceptable in our society? At home, I enjoy eating by myself, but eating out alone seems the height of patheticness. But there's something about eating alone in a restaurant that is just . . . odd. 

But why is eating out alone odd? 

Society's social expectations might scare people off from partaking in a meal alone in public as the perception of eating alone is that you are socially inept or lacking. It might be a little more acceptable to eat in the bar by yourself, but it's still not the norm. 

How people perceive us or our actions guides too much of our life and life choices. I think it would be amazing to go out for some Mexican since I'm craving it without worry about people's perception of me eating alone in a restaurant. 

Is it my fault that I'm too nervous to try eating out on my own?

Is it society's fault because of their judging perception?

Or is it a combination of both?