An Open Letter: Cynthia

My goofy girl,

I have known you for almost six years now. Six years of being your big sister. Six years of growth and changes between you and I. The most amazing change is to see how you have turned to God and realized your need for Him as your personal Savior.

For the rest of my life, I will carry the memories from today. I loved how you ran into my arms after sprinting across the grass. I loved how you told your friends that you couldn't hang out with them because you were spending the afternoon with your long lost friend. I loved listening to Simon and Garfunkel with you in the car. I loved singing along with you in the car. I think I will always choke up when I remember how you came around the table to give me a hug and to say you loved me.

You were so excited to share with me about your great grades and your incredibly high reading level. I've never been so proud of you. As we drove, I thought how I can't wait to see you graduate from high school and college. Nothing could keep me away from those days in your life. As I hugged you good bye, I wondered how you will survive another summer just like I did five years ago.

Cynthia, you said it wouldn't have been the same with Big Brother and Big Sister if it hadn't been me. Six year ago, I never imagined how much you would have impacted my life. You have blessed my life more than you will ever know. You are part of me and my family. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I want to help you in whatever way I can.

I pray this summer will be better than the past ones. Don't lose sight of God, His love, and His plan for you. You are tough, but don't bottle it all up inside. Share with those who you need to share it with. Most importantly, give it all to God.

I love you, my darling Cynthia.

Your Big Sister,
Bethany

Affirmation

According to Merriam Webster affirm means to validate or confirm, to say that something is true in a confident way. Affirmation is the act of affirming.

Learning about myself has made me realize I crave affirmation. I desire to be validated in what I say and do. I want the verbal confirmation. But I only want it if I believe it is true which goes back to me needing to control everything and not trusting what others are saying. Why is that so difficult for me?

Nearing the end of school, I was receiving the opposite of affirmation from, what felt like, every student and parent, so to receive this affirmation meant more to me than I wanted to admit.* Since I'm learning to say thank you and accept what was given me, I respond with the sincerest gratitude ~ thank you for the award.

"Ms. Bethany Ledgerwood, a 5th grade teacher at Central Intermediate School, was recently recognized by the Wisconsin Association of Colleges for Teacher Education as a recipient of the Early Career Educator Award. Ms. Ledgerwood was recognized for her initiative, diligent work in curriculum alignment to the state standards, and leadership with Positive Behavior Interventions & Supports (PBIS). Also noted were her knowledge of technology and extra time working with students. Her peers recognized her dedication and hard work. At a staff gathering at Central Intermediate School, Mr. David Handyside, Director of the School of Education at Maranatha Baptist University, recognizes Ms. Ledgerwood in front of her peers. An awards reception was held this past March at the Crowne Plaza in Madison. Congratulations to Ms. Ledgerwood!"

*Even if I know that those who nominated me haven't spent a day in my classroom since student teaching, and it doesn't seem like you should nominate someone if you don't know all the ins and outs. Yet, I know I wouldn't have been given the award if my principal hadn't responded positively about my work.