Saturday Nights

Saturday nights in college, writing here on this blog was part of what kept me sane. Today, I realized this is my last Saturday before I get married. My last night to blog as a single woman. So now I reminisce back over those Saturday nights, the determinations, and my fast closing chapter of singleness.

I would sit in my bed at Mrs. Behm's and plug in my headphones, and Muse would start playing as the first track on my "late night music" playlist. By the time I got to "Over the Rainbow," I had written out my problems, processed, and figured life out for that night whether in my notebook or on this blog. 

Some nights I needed to share about Ginevra de' Benci other times it was to talk about a meltdown, my car breaking down, or Praxis 2. Many of the posts came early Sunday morning instead of late Saturday evening. Many posts were written in frustration of all the garbage I heard and needed to filter through. But most of all the posts tended to be late at night because everything else had to be done before I could let myself the freedom to write for myself. I would be exhausted and yet stay up until midnight writing and listening to my music. It was my homemade therapy and soothing of the wearied and battered soul.

Though my blogging has diminished over the years, my need to write to think has not changed. Maybe that means I think less now or I can process quicker or have more time to write in my notebooks or maybe I have less to process. All could be right except the less information to process.

Changes are part of life, and with any change comes the processing. As I talked to Joanna today, she brought up how grateful I must be in God's sovereignty in knowing the exact time to bring Jacob into my life. That I could figure out who I was in Christ and to build and strengthen my relationship with the Lord, and to find ways to serve and minister in my local church. I would not change one moment of those years. Looking back, even when I couldn't understand why so many seemed to be able to date and build a relationship with a significant other, and I never could, all those years showed me what is most important. It kept me away from messed up relationships and being sucked in when I hadn't built a solid relationship with my Lord and Savior. Joanna's wisdom reiterated what I had been thinking; I am so thankful for those years of growth and change God allowed me to have.

This blog is called A B Style Journey because I desire to write about my journey through life. I've done that to this point through all my years of singleness, and now I will continue to through all my years of marriage. God knows the future and the path of my life, and I trust Him to continue to take me through each journey and step along the way in His perfect sovereignty.