Clarity

Spending time with my family this weekend, and the questions have come up about my life. Talking through my plans and ideas with them has brought so much clarity. Why would I pursue something that goes against my life philosophy? At this moment, I can't remember if I've told you my life philosophy or not, and I'm too lazy to look through my old posts.

This is what I believe the Lord wants for my life. I believe believers ought to be in every workplace. I want to work in a secular work environment. I want to be part of a local church which is actively involved in the community. At this church, I want to be active in my community and participating in ladies Bibles studies which bring unbelievers into the church. I want to be salt and light.

With that philosophy, what am I doing applying to a parochial school? Why am I pursuing that option? Filling out those applications and answering some of their awful questions made me queasy. I didn't follow what I believed the Lord wanted me to do because I was second-guessing myself and trying to plan my whole life out.

Right now, I'm so tired I can't even think straight. In the past two days, I've had another intense (not fighting just internally battling) thought process and discussion with family about my future. I can't even type coherently. I'm going to go to bed while thinking even more about all of this, and then we'll continue this discussion later.

Good night.

P.S. Sat in 80 degree weather today in Texas. It's March--I could maybe get used to this.